Perhaps you promised you'd provide elder home care for your parent forever, or perhaps this arrangement was understood between the two of you. Now, things are getting hard, and you're considering hiring an in-home care service to help you out. Many people in your situation feel a bit guilty when pondering this option, but there's really no reason to feel guilt. You're not a bad person if you decide to hire an in-home caregiver to help you care for your aging parent. In fact, doing so is often the best choice for you and for your parent. Here's why.
In-home caregivers can better handle medical procedures.
Unless you are a trained medical practitioner yourself, things like giving your parent injections, changing a colostomy bag, and monitoring their oxygen levels can be difficult, if not impossible. In-home caregivers have professional training and know how to do these things well. The end result is that your parent will get better medical care from an in-home caregiver than from you, and they certainly deserve the best care possible. The higher level of care can reduce their risk of injury and illness, going forward.
Burnout is real, and it can have disastrous consequences.
On an airplane, you're supposed to put your oxygen mask on before putting on the mask of a child or other traveller sitting next to you. In this situation, you can't take care of someone else unless you take care of your own health first. This is also true when it comes to caring for your loved one. It can be really hard to make your own health and happiness a priority, but if you don't, you'll start to feel burned out and unwell, and then you won't be able to care for your parent, either.
Hiring an in-home caregiver will allow you to spend some energy focusing on your own health and happiness, which will allow you avoid burnout and be a better emotional support system for your parent.
Having another person to interact with will actually be good for your parent.
Your parent may initially be a bit resistant to let someone else care for them. However, once they become more comfortable with the new caregiver, they will likely appreciate having them there. The social lives of older adults quickly become limited, and it's not healthy for you to be the only person your parent sees and interacts with. Having another person in their life — even if that person is a caregiver — will be good for them socially.
You are absolutely not a bad person for hiring an in-home caregiver rather than caring for your older parent completely on your own. If anything, you're a very good person; you're doing what's best for you and your parent.
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